So far I will say God is good to me. My weekend now normally is split to Sat, spending time with hubby. Sun to spend time with Raelyn and family, so busy huh. Am I happy? Yes, I do. However, it also makes me wonder, what happened if I am pregnant at this time again. I was reminded by the verse yesterday in church service.
Psalm 37:4 (NIV) Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
An example that Pastor quoted was when a father lifted his son up in the air. What is always so amazing is the son will smile happily, how about the father’s reaction? He, himself is being delighted. We are happy and so will our Father be. Finding happiness in our daily life and be contented with what we have, sound easy, however we always wants more and make ourself unhappy. How’s true…
First head this from another carecell member. I find it interesting and re-post it here.
My Heavenly father, as I enter this workplace I bring your presence with me. I speak your peace, your grace, your mercy, and your perfect order in this office. I acknowledge your power over all that will be spoken, thought, decided, and done within these walls.
Lord, I thank you for the gifts you have blessed me with. I commit to using them responsibly in your honor. Give me a fresh supply of strength to do my job. Anoint my projects, ideas, and energy so that even my smallest accomplishment may bring you glory.
Lord, when I am confused guide me. When I am burned out infuse me with the light of the Holy Spirit. May the work that I do and the way I do it bring faith, joy, and a smile to all that I come in contact with today.
Just to share that I have recently bought this 2 DVDs. 1 is the DVD version and another is the Blueray DVD. It first caught my attention because of an emailer sent to me stating that the show is on History channel. However, I didn’t manage to see the show over the TV but through other means. Despite that, I still wanted to buy the DVD to see it again. Through the show, it increased my interest to read the bible more often. I suppose that is a good sign, well, anyone wants to borrow it? Hehe
My mini compilation after sick and tired of finding 1 song here and there. I am just putting a list of songs for me to easy refer when I need to find it.
Just seen the doctor last thursday, all blood results are back. Most of them is ok, in fact all except 1, glucose test. The post 2 hours glucose test is higher. Though not significantly higher but doctor say is “Impaired Diabetes”, not diabetes but just impaired. He said need to keep a close watch when I am pregnant on the glucose level as diabetes can cause miscarriage too. Another potential problem because especially when I pregnant, my highly desire carving is sweet drink. Drink like ribena that I don’t normally drink because I find it too sweet, when pregnant, they are just so desirable. So he said all is set and ready, I can go ahead and try naturally anytime. It makes me wonder are we on the wrong direction all this while? Maybe is the glucose level that is causing the problem, not the cervix? That might explains why the stitch doesn’t work? Then again, he said might or might not stitch for next pregnancy, to determine later since both pregnancies, either stitch or no stitch didn’t help. Headache, sounds like back to square one. Ultra confused and don’t know what to do.
Last friday, my friend asked me, “Are you ready?” A simple question yet I find it hard to answer. The expected lost of freedom, can’t drive, can’t even go out, can’t get to eat certain food, the same routine all days, 24/7. It does really get to me, to the extent I really feel no quality of life. A few days ago, God is telling me to slow down, now today He is telling me this. God is good! Slowing down does not mean to give up, neither does it mean to give in to sins. It is just simply means resting in Him and persevere.
Hebrews 12:1-4 (NIV) 12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
“Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald[b] may run with it.
3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it[c] will certainly come
and will not delay.
I came across this from someone’s post some time back so I am writing this down to remind me later of God’s grace. I believed it and will have Faith!
I will conceive naturally by end of this year and to carry my precious baby till full term before delivering to a cute baby son. There will not be any complications, infections of whatsoever, my baby is fearfully and wonderfully made. My body is healed of all problems and I am all ready to receive this wonderful gift of child.
Likewise, my business come to a good growth and balance where I can have a good income coming in monthly with minium supervision. I will have a backup sales to help me and my designers are able to work hand in hand to complete projects on hand.
I will be able to rest well on my confinement months and to enjoy the company of my baby allowing me to have more time with him. My son is good and obedient, he will only cry when there is a need to and when necessary. He like to smile on all occasions and is a happy boy. He will grow up to be a man of integrity upholding honor protecting his loved ones. He will have a career that he loved and provided comfortably for his family in time to come. Amen!
5 prayer nights actually meant nothing to me before that. I do not know what is the purpose, what are we praying for or what is the agenda. However, after attending last week - 5 Prayer Nights, now it has a new meaning to me. I thought God spoke to me since last sunday. I was feeling lousy and on monday, I followed our Carecell Group to go on monday. Though nothing significance happened, but 2 songs (He is here, The Way That He Loves) touched me. So I was encouraged to go on tuesday again even though it meant that I was going alone. Quite irony was that though I didn’t plan for, however, I had the car for the whole week leaving me no excuse not to go for the prayer nights.
The song that I have been searching high and low for it finally found by my Spirtual Sister. How’s nice.
Tuesday
We were given this verse - John 1:35-40 35 The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. 36 When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “Look, the Lamb of God!”
37 When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. 38 Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, “What do you want?”
They said, “Rabbi” (which means “Teacher”), “where are you staying?”
39 “Come,” he replied, “and you will see.”
So they went and saw where he was staying, and they spent that day with him. It was about four in the afternoon.
40 Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus.
Therefore we were told to seek, follow Him and get a revalation before we can leave for the night. So stressful and challenging for me. However, as we sang songs and prayed, I got a vision. I saw very clearly where I was lying on the hospital bed with my hubby back then praying desperately for my twin. The vision was very clear, I knew which ward was I back then and I saw it from a different perspective. Being humans, we always only prayed and seek Him when we are desperate, however, when we are healthy, we forget about Him.
Thursday
I went with my Spiritual Parent this time and having dinner with her before that, updating her of my condition so far. I was rather tired already with headache as well thinking that it should just be another regular session for me. However, after 1.5 hours into the prayer night, our Senior Pastor asked for altar call, something he didn’t do for the past 3 days. He ask for “Mighty Healing” in particular. It seems to be just calling out to me. I was just telling my Spiritual Parent about it and now altar call asked for it. I was very overwhelmed and went to the altar call. In Jesus name, I believe I am healed!
Friday
The last night of the 5 days week. Again, I was challenged. So far, I had seek Him, got a vision and gotten my healing. However, God is awesome doing much more into our lives. He rejoiced with us too when we are happy. I got to hear from Him again though the song - He is here.
What a powerful week, we were taught as a new believer how to seek Him and to pray for ourselves. How wonderful and blessed are we…
This song which is what my Spirtual Sister liked and also the one who helped me to find the song. Enjoy. You are great!
It is such a struggle… I have accepted for what had happened to me in keeping cool about it and leaving it to God’s hands. However, today I am going to visit my friend later who had just deliver twin boys. We are “cycle buddies” because we both had miscarriage at similar time and both conceived twin together. I am trying hard to keep my focus on God, yet again I was reminded that my friend won the war and I have lost. I was awoke earlier this morning with a song (My God reigns) in my head with faith that I know I will have a child borned by me. He even gave me a title to my third book! However, I was always thrown in both extreme warfare. What else can I do to keep my focus on Him?
My Spiritual Parent told me I did not lose the battle. God knew that is best for me. Yes, I know, the best is yet to come. I just have to press on…
By the way, if you are wondering what is the title of my third book - A star is borne!
I believe in "When there is a Will, there is a Way". That's why I believe that, as long as we tried hard enough, success is within our hands unless you did not do your best.
